I have a friend with a 7 year old boy who is a real brat. The kid is basically uncontrollable and talks back to everyone. Unfortunately no one does anything to stem this behavior asides from the usual "time out" talk, which he ignores.

I was over at their house for a grill out with several friends and relatives and of course, this kid had to be the center of attention. He decided to challenge me to a race. Alright kid, I'll take you up. We mapped out the course and got in the starting position. Though it is against standard racing protocol, I let him do the "ready, set, go." Of course he jumped the gun but it didn't matter - I smoked his ass. It was like the tortoise and the hare. Once he realized he had no chance of winning, he quit and started pouting but I'd have nothing of it. I pranced around like a winner and announced to everyone that I won and he lost. The assembled adults boo'ed me. The kid said I cheated and I inquired how. "You're supposed to let me win." Then the adults chimed in, "C'mon, let the kid win." So I responded, "alright, we'll race again and this time I'll let you win." Once again we got set and once again he jumped the gun on the 'ready, set, go' and once again I smoked his ass. Life's a bitch kid, get used to it.