I was at a dinner party the other night when the topic of vacation time came up. I have two weeks vacation and every single one of those days is planned out already on Jan. 1st. Two people at the dinner party had over a week left of vacation that they were not taking, would not be paid for and would not be allowed to carry over into 2007. I honestly can't comprehend how someone could waive hard earned vacation. To me it's just another symptom of how the American work world is getting way out of whack. It's not that these people don't want vacation, it's that they are afraid to take it. When I was growing up, more than once my parents took a three week vacation. Not only do I not have three weeks vacation despite being 11 years out of college, but even if I did, my employer would not let me take the three weeks all at once. So much for that trip to Europe I guess. Still, I guarantee you this, I will take every day I have coming. When you get to the point where you are afraid to take off for vacation, then it's time to rethink your life.

I really can't stand the fact that Oprah is on the cover of her magazine every single month. Not only that, but it is only Oprah. I don't recall her ever sharing the cover with anyone else. The pictures are always the same, "Look at me, I'm Oprah and I'm frolicking." I know it's her magazine but what's the sense of putting her face on the cover every month? It seems so vain to me.

As I mentioned awhile back, I'm trying to get my wife knocked up; and I never would have thought sex could be such hard work. We've always had good sex, but now that it is for a purpose, I've found it to be pretty difficult. Take last night for example. I was notified that "today is a good day." Right in the middle of a perfectly good video game. I don't know what it is with women but they seem to hate the fact that men play video games. I played online with another friend last night who got off abruptly. He told me today that his wife came into the office and chewed him out for playing this game for two hours. Anyway, so my wife goes to bed and I start brushing my teeth trying to figure out how I'm going to get in the mood to do the deed. So as I'm brushing my teeth, I start "multi-tasking" with my free hand... and it's unusually tough going. I start running through my head some of my favorite porno clips. I feel like Dirk Diggler after he took the drugs. Finally I'm up enough for action. My wife and I start going at it and it's some of the worst sex ever. I kept my eyes closed trying to keep this train moving. She must have known something was up because she kept asking me what I was thinking. "Nothing!" I really had to delve into the depth of the most hardcore nasty porno thoughts I could come up with but it wasn't to be. 15 minutes of non-stop pumping and I just couldn't go on. It really sucks because my wife is a beautiful woman who turns heads at the gym. I think it's the pressure. When there's no pressure we have the usual quality sex. You know it's quality when I don't last long.

I've come to a conclusion this morning that is largely undebatable: Monica Bellucci is the most beautiful woman over 40 in the world entire.

I noticed today that the plants in my office had not been watered in a couple weeks so I took my water bottle to the water cooler and filled it up. On the third return trip to the water cooler I emptied the last contents of the water jug into my bottle. I took the jug off and was just about to replace it with another when I noticed two dark objects in the bottom of the receiver. I looked closer and saw that they were two big dead centipedes. Yuck! How long have they been in there and how much of that water did I drink. I don't even want to think about it. I cleaned them out and replaced the water jug. Next to the water cooler was an unopened pack of bottled water. I opened it and grabbed three.

Today I saw an 18-wheeler make a U-turn at a street light. Not a Y-turn. A U-turn. I guess you had to be there but I was kind of impressed.

Recently a friend of mine was asked to be the Godfather to an acquaintance's newborn son. It came as a bit of a shock given that he hasn't seen or spoken to this acquaintance in two years. Even worse, the acquaintance never took the time to even tell my friend that his wife was pregnant. My friend asked my advice. I told him flat out - say no. For some reason he felt guilty about saying no so he reluctantly said yes. Yesterday the acquaintance called to tell him the Baptism will be held on Saturday, December 23 and it's in another state. So now my friend is expected drive to another state on the biggest holiday weekend of the year to be Godfather to a kid he'll probably never see again.

The other day my wife and I were shopping at the mall when we walked by the windows of a pet store. Of course she wanted to go inside and I got dragged along. There was a decent crowd of people - all gathered around the dogs (for some reason the cats don't get much attention. Probably because they don't really do anything). Anyway everyone was watching these two little puppies play around with each other. There was the regular "aahs" and "they're so cute" being thrown back and forth. One woman had just remarked to her husband that she wanted one when suddenly one of the puppies paused and got into a semi-squat. With his ass to the window, he started taking a dump. Alright, not the cutest thing but everyone's seen this before. Then the other puppy got behind the first one and started eating the crap directly out of the first dog's ass. It never touched the ground. When they were finished they started sixty-nining each other (both were male). Every couple seconds one would let out a yelp when the other puppy bit down too hard (probably wondering why no milk was coming out). The husband looked at his wife, "You still want one?" "Let's look at the cats."

I love Christmas. I absolutely love it; however, I love Christmas starting the day after Thanksgiving - not the day after Halloween. What's happening to our society? I don't want to hear Christmas music in a store in October. I just read today that a radio station in Chicago has already started 24-hour Christmas music. Does anyone really feel this is appropriate? As a Christmas lover I find it absolutely ridiculous, and every year it just gets worse. It reminds me of when I was a kid and they started the back to school sales in mid-July. I used to get pissed off at the assholes for trying to convince parents that they should buy school supplies over a month before school even started. Give me a chance to enjoy my summer in peace. I feel the same way about Christmas. The holiday should not overshadow Thanksgiving and definitely should not overshadow Halloween.

I saw two Jennifer Aniston movies this weekend:

1. The Break-Up. I liked it except for the ending. It's obvious the ending was a reshoot, it just didn't seem natural. On the DVD they have an Alternate Ending which clearly was the original ending that the test screenings shot down. I can't say the new ending is much better. Both Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are naturals in this role in the sense that I suspect they are somewhat playing themselves.

If I wasn't watching the movie with my wife and sister I would have played back the Aniston bare ass scene. Ever since, I've been wondering if it's really her or a double. Actually I think I'll look that up right now... Okay, just looked it up. It's all her. Now I really wish I had given it a second look.

2. Friends With Money. This movie was the complete opposite. What a pile of crap. It's not that I don't like chick movies because there are several that I do like and it's not that the movie went over my head - no movie has ever gone over my head. It's just crap. Aniston was completely unconvincing. The comedy was weak. The various threads were often left open and unresolved and Joan Cusack was her usual annoying self. I can't stand the way her face moves when she talks. Maybe it's just me.

Is there a radio station in Milwaukee that does not play Nickelback? The one damn band I can't stand the most is played on every station in town; and when they're not playing Nickelback they're playing the other same 10 songs over and over. I've also noticed more and more of these stations editing songs down. As a guitar player, it really irks me that they routinely will cut out or shorten guitar solos. Take the Chili Peppers' "Dani California". The best part of the whole song is the end solo and it is cut completely out. It's like playing "Layla" without the piano outro. It's ridiculous. I pretty much only listen to CD's in the car anyway except with my wife who doesn't like "my music." Even though I don't listen to the radio, I've forbidden her from programming KISS FM into my stereo presets. It's purely a matter of principle.