I was talking with a friend of mine the other day. He has a whirlpool tub in his bathroom so of course I had to mention: "I bet you and the wife put that to use." He responded that they don't have sex (her choice) and he didn't find this information out until after they were engaged. What do you tell the guy?

Yesterday he set up a purely business meeting with an ex-girlfriend. One who he confided to me was the best he's ever had. Now I took that with a grain of salt because this guy is a chronic overexaggerator... but then I saw her. This girl was a solid 8 on my strict scale. To put that in perspective, I figure there are maybe 6 eight pluses out of 100 women of the same age. So let's compare:

Ex-girlfriend
1. younger (by four years)
2. prettier
3. better body
4. big chest
5. sexual dynamo
6. fun lover

wife
1. not as young
2. not as pretty
3. average body
4. small chest
5. avoids sex like the plague
6. scrabble champion

Now I might sound superficial in all this but this is what men really think. For the life of me, I can't see why he broke up with the ex-girlfriend - it's not like she had a crap personality or anything. I would think every guy wants to wind up with the best woman physically and sexually that he has ever been with, otherwise you'll always be thinking back to those D-cups as you are holding those A-cups. It's cruel but that's the way it is. I could almost see the memories flashing through his head as I sat in on this meeting. Afterwards I asked him what he was thinking when he dumped her. He said she did things like "buying him a sweater" or called a friend and found out he was at a bar and then showed up. I still didn't get it and I think he was starting to wonder the same thing. The amazing part is he dumped this girl for a real bitch (not his wife). The new girlfriend had her friends tell him what kind of engagement ring to buy her specifying the size at that it had to be from Tiffanys. Luckily he eventually got out of that relationship, and his wife is a good woman... but those D's.